As soon as it was learned that the president of the United States gets policy advice from none other than the Big Guy himself, (see "Plan of Attack" by Bob Woodward) Black Cow Press filed a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request to obtain copies of the corresponding Oval Office recordings. The White House has since produced audio transcripts covering more than 100 hours of high-level intelligence briefings between George Bush and God...

Unemployed, Uninsured Man
To Organize GOP Fund-raiser

PHOENIX, AZ - Roger Freeman sits on an upholstered stool at the counter of the Rimrock Diner and pokes at a loose molar in his mouth. He wiggles it and frowns...

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Conspiracy Theorists (Vol. X)
SECRET CODE OF SKULL & BONES

It starts out simple enough. Bush and Kerry attend Yale where they join an elite secret society known as Skull and Bones...

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CUTTING-EDGE FASHION:
MORE INJURIES AT BCP

LAS VEGAS - A summer intern at Black Cow Press was injured Friday when the tails of his Armani tuxedo (de rigueur at the company's corporate headquarters in North Las Vegas, Nevada) became entangled in machinery used for printing...

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XTREME ENGINEERING
with Butch Halvorsen

Hi Kids. Let's get right to it. You'll see in a second why there's no time to delay starting on this project...

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